We did it!

How's it going peeps? I know, I know, it's been a few weeks since I last posted on Sometimes Hairy and you guys have been desperately itching for some more valuable wisdom. Honestly, I'm shocked at how quickly this blog has caught fire and ripped across the internets. Someone from a totally reputable source told me that my last three posts averaged about 10k's worth of Diggs like a few weeks ago...sheesh that's nuts! I can't thank you fans enough for the overwhelming positive response I have been receiving for this blog, really. If I had one wish, I would wish more hours into my day to answer all your questions and respond to all your well-wishes. Since I don't, and my time is extremely valuable and limited, I'll only get to cover the most frequently asked questions posed to me and my site.

1. Can I meet you?

LOL. I'm so grateful and honestly flattered, but...hmm how do I put this. Let me use an analogy. When people email Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, or Adam Brody from the O.C., do you think that between all the promoting of organic clothing lines, red carpet charity events and episodes of PUNK'D, that they have time to meet their fans? Not when they need to like, cruise around Beverly Hills in their vegan sandals. Sorry, but visitation rights ended after the first 1000 diggs.

2. What's your phone number, social security, address, or various other personal information?

I stopped giving that stuff out after an eBay Admin (username: ebayaddmln) PM'd me, promising me Power Seller status in exchange for the mentioned information and DIDN'T DELIVER.

3. How do you continue to persevere in midst of all your struggle? Where do you draw your strength and wisdom from?

I'm glad you asked that. I draw strength and wisdom from a source deep down inside, a powerful engine of motivation and knowledge. Doctors have often referred to it as the spleen.

3.a. Who do you model yourself after?

Duh, Jim Halpert.


3.b. I'm having some girl problems. If you had to choose between a really genuine, but sometimes unsure girl and an extremely confident girl who sometimes comes off too strongly, who would you choose?



4. I've just had a baby, will you come bless my child at his circumcision ceremony?

Wow. Extremely honored, but I have to decline. Like my first grade teacher Mrs. Juarez would always say, if I say yes to one circumcision ceremony, then I'll have to say yes to all of them. And that's just not right.

5. I can tell that you're pretty loose with the check book and like to let your cash fly around like feathers exploding from a pillow after you hit someone really hard, all while a powerful fan is blowing behind you. Can you tell me some of your investment strategies?

Simply put, if I posted my investment secrets on this blog, then about 1 million people would become instantly rich. This would topple the economy in a matter of days and make the Sub-prime mortgage crisis feel like the first stage in Brick Breaker. It's simple Game Theory, really. If everyone was rich, there would be no poor people and EVERYONE would be driving around in Buick's and Caddy's, subsequently eliminating the ability to show off, which is a huge part of being rich! I can't do that, for the sake of this country.

Anyway, that's all for today, this post has taken me way too long to think up and write as it is...I've probably lost thousands of dollars already from the time spent on this post.

Next post: Jury Duty!